ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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