Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
