I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
