That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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