I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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