i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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