i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
