Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
