why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Randomize
