Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
