I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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