I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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