one two three fourrrrnication!
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
