dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
