we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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