Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
