I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
