Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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