I feel like I'm in dance class right now
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Randomize
