Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
