hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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