I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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