he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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