and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
