Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
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