he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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