My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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