I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
