how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
