I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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