At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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