you guys were way drunker than both of me
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
