The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
