oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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