Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
