so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
He did a backflip because drugs
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
