I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
