Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
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