So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
These tits shall not be calmed
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
