i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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