i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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