Dual....:-)
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Randomize
