You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
