Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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