that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
third nipple confirmed
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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