dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
