jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
