I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Randomize
