As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
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