oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
