I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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