so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
