Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
