I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
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