Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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